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September 24, 2010

“He’s gone.” Just those two little words on my cell phone screen. A message that seemed too big, too permanent for the fleeting impermanence of digital text. The end of a life marked by nothing more than a series of dots. Followed so soon after the message that said “He’s almost gone,” and the one headed the other direction saying “I’m coming home.”

Even worse, I was in a hotel room bathroom when the cell phone vibrated in my pocket to notify me that life has changed and I no longer have a father-in-law. It doesn’t seem like the kind of message you should get when you’re about to pull your pants down.

Death. It doesn’t wait for convenient, meaningful, or spiritual times to make its appearance. It shows up in the middle of the mundane, the ordinary, the every-day. While you’re at a management retreat. While you’re at 7-11 buying Slurpees.

Suddenly, in the time it takes for a heart to beat its last beat, for a text message to vibrate in a pocket, for a phone call to come from the hospital, life is no longer ordinary.

And now, forever after, September will be the month in which we lost both a son and a father.

12 Comments leave one →
  1. September 24, 2010 7:39 am

    I’m so sorry. I’ve felt the same sense of loss many times over, and I am always shocked at how fast it can happen, and how the rest of the world goes on. My sympathies to you and your family.

  2. September 24, 2010 7:41 am

    As ever, even in the midst of much, you craft a beautiful, eloquent post that tells it like it is. Blessings to you, dear Heather, your husband and your families. Wishing you peace.

  3. Renee permalink
    September 24, 2010 7:50 am

    My deepest and heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Sending as much love and as many prayer and hugs as you need.

  4. Glenda permalink
    September 24, 2010 7:53 am

    And in that lenght of time, our lives are forever changed! Noone can understand unless they have gone through it themselves.

  5. September 24, 2010 7:53 am

    My condolences during this difficult time. Yet your openness, honestness, and lovely writing bring beauty to the process.

    Wishing you lots of peace, warmth, and love.

  6. September 24, 2010 9:27 am

    life changes so quickly (luckily, in both ways good and bad) but that doesn’t so much help when loss of life occurs. I’m sending vibes of love and virtual hugs to you all in the coming days. try to remember his smile, his laugh. that’s what gets me through missing.


  7. September 24, 2010 9:59 am

    I have never met you in person and yet I’m in tears. Heather, we all love you and if energy travels as I believe it does…there is much healing and peaceful energy coming towards you and your family.

    To be able to write such poetic, truthful words at this time is a blessing you have been given and even amidst this hard time, I thank you for sharing.

  8. September 24, 2010 12:46 pm

    death comes like a thief in the night. You are never expecting it. And even if you are expecting it you are never really fully prepared.
    Blessings and love to you and your family.

  9. September 24, 2010 6:58 pm

    My deepest sympathy for your family’s loss. I wish there were words that could ease this time. You are in my thoughts, sending you wishes of peace and beautiful memories.

  10. September 25, 2010 1:06 am

    I am so sorry, Heather. You are so right. Death comes when it comes. And it’s just not ever welcome, and it doesn’t care. I am very sorry for your loss. Love, O

  11. September 26, 2010 6:35 am

    Oh, Heather. Just wanted to send you some love.

  12. September 28, 2010 10:59 am

    Even though you know will happen at any time, the finality of death always catches us off guard. Blessings to you all as you stumble through this time.

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