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In celebration of growth – an invitation to celebrate my birthday with me!

May 17, 2010

My birthday is coming up on Thursday, and since my dear friend Michele is throwing a little celebration in my honour tomorrow night (if you live close enough, YOU are welcome – at least, if you fit the “ladies only” profile), I’ve decided that this year I’m going to celebrate a whole BIRTHDAY WEEK instead of just one day! Yes, I’m feeling horribly narcissistic about the whole thing, but I figured I’ve done a fair bit of sacrificing in the past month or two, so it shouldn’t hurt to have a little balance in my life. Giggle.

Seriously though, I feel like this birthday week marks some pretty big growth for me. Those of you who are regular readers will know about some of the big challenges that have forced me to plunge a little deeper into my heart to find out just who it is that resides there and what the source and shape of her strength is. When we open ourselves to it, challenge and struggle will usher in growth and acceptance, and that’s what I’ve seen happening in my own life.

There have been some pretty significant breakthroughs for me in the last two weeks, in my relationship with my body, my relationship with my loved ones, my relationship with food, my relationship with the divine, and my relationship with the core of who I am created to be. As I wrote a few months ago when I was recovering from surgery, I’ve been feeling like a caterpillar who has to give up the life she knows, commit herself to the cocoon, and wait for the transformation to come.

I just learned recently that in the cocoon stage, caterpillars actually break down completely into a gooey gel-like substance that has no resemblance to either caterpillar or butterfly. We have to give it up – whatever we believe ourselves to be – in order to emerge into the beautiful creature we are meant to be.

It’s true, isn’t it, that we are never finished growing? I feel like a sculpture that is forever being molded in the Sculptor’s hands.

There’s a bubbling energy in me this week that feels a little like what the butterfly must feel when she has the dawning awareness that it’s time to break out of the cocoon. I feel strong in ways I didn’t expect to feel strong – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I’ve been running, biking, praying, doing yoga – and a bunch of other little things that feel like they are helping me step into a new strength. The beautiful life-giving thing about it is, the more I step into this strength and share it with people around me, the more it is returned to me in affirming ways – like a lovely note from a cousin who’s heading out on a solo trip to the Grand Canyon and says it was partly inspired by what I write on this blog!

A month ago, when Marcel was in the hospital, I began to describe myself as a warrior because of the battles I had to fight as his advocate. And in a few weeks, I’ll be in a workshop at ALIA about “leaders as Shambala warriors”. I’ve never really thought of myself as a warrior before (maybe it’s my pacifist roots), and honestly, I often doubt myself as a leader because of some of the struggles I’ve had in this job that usually end up leaving me feeling like a failure. But something is shifting, and I’m trying to step into whatever it is that’s emerging.

No, this week is not about “look how great I am”. It’s more about “there is something powerful in what God is shaping my life to be and I want to celebrate the way I’m growing into it”.

Tomorrow night, our little celebration will include a bra-burning ceremony to mark the transformation to my body (through breast reduction surgery). In a strange and unexpected way, the surgery marked a turning point for me – a moment when I finally gave myself permission to want a new story for my body. It’s all been part of the metamorphosis process – letting go of old stories I tell myself and embracing new truths and new possibilities. I have learned to love myself in a new way since I let go of the weight that was cut off. I have learned to treat my body with new respect and gratitude (thanks in part to Geneen Roth’s book) and I am slowly becoming healthier for it. (I realize that might sound a little twisted – having plastic surgery to learn to love yourself – but it’s working for me.)

What I would really love is this… even though you might not be able to make it to the celebration tomorrow night, I’d be delighted if you would consider marking this week with me, on your blog, on Twitter, or just in the privacy of your own home.

Here’s what I’d like you to do… have a virtual “bra-burning” party! No, you don’t have to burn your bra (unless you want to!), but think of some old story you’re telling yourself about who you are (who you’re supposed to be by other people’s standards, what limits you, what you’re lacking, why you’re a failure), and burn it! Write it down on a piece of paper, light a candle, a lantern, or a big ol’ bonfire and BURN THAT SUCKER! Let it go! Give it up to the fire!

Do it in honour of my 44rd birthday, but more importantly, do it for you!

And take pictures, ’cause I’d love to see all that burnin’ energy!

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. May 17, 2010 8:40 pm

    This is fantastic, Heather. I will do my ritual bra burning to help celebrate your birthday! My birthday is on Monday, so the timing couldn’t be better. I’m all about “letting go of old stories I tell myself and embracing new truths and new possibilities.” Here here!

  2. May 18, 2010 4:26 am

    Week long celebrations are good. When we lived in Sarnia, I’d kid her that her birthdays lasted for a month. So, when we moved here away from her friends, that first year, we did something every day for a week.

  3. May 18, 2010 11:57 am

    Can I burn my underwear tonight in your honour? I think the girls may enjoy it. 🙂

  4. May 18, 2010 4:52 pm

    I too enjoy LONG celebrations, Heather. Sure, I’ll help you celebrate. You have a LOT to celebrate this year!! xo, O

  5. May 19, 2010 5:49 am

    what a challenge.
    You are onto a wonderful direction when you describe growing into what the Maker has for you.
    If I get the nerve to make myself vulnerable and “burn” some stuff online, hopefully I’ll remember to tell you.
    Happy birthday, I hope its overflowing with happy.

  6. May 19, 2010 4:40 pm

    Heather – I’m totally bummed that I didn’t get to this, as it is an AWESOME idea for an even more awesome reason (Happy Belated Birthday!!), but know that the idea is not going to leave my head until I do it. I’ll celebrate soon! By the way, congrats on the shoes and I am truly humbled to be any sort of inspiration. Here’s to both of us finding our legs moving!! 🙂

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