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Let’s get back to happy!

May 7, 2010

A few weeks ago, during the dark time, I had a sudden out-of-the-blue memory that I’d signed up for The Happy Book Mail-around. The thought that followed was “Oh dear God –  don’t let it arrive on my doorstep right now! If it does, I may not be able to stop myself from tearing it into shreds and burying the pieces soaked with my bitter tears in the back yard.”

Yeah, you could say I was having a hard time being happy. The world looked pretty dark and despite my efforts to be cheerful and stable for the sake of my husband and kids, I wasn’t doing much to push the clouds back from my own mind. I spent many hours crying in my van or in bed at night. I wanted to be happy, but I just couldn’t see the point.

Thankfully, the book did not arrive during that time. I’m also very relieved to say that “happy” seems so much more possible these days. Marcel is doing much better, and we’re all learning some valuable life lessons in all of this.

Today, in my efforts to reclaim happy, I give you this gratitude list:

  • Spring! How can I not be at least a little bit happy with all this cheery green surrounding me?
  • A refreshing visit to my brother and sister-in-love’s home in Calgary last weekend. They offered just the kind of uncomplicated love we all needed.
  • Soccer. I know at least one person who thinks I’m crazy, but I actually LIKE sitting on the sidelines watching my daughters play soccer.
  • Amazing employees. I had one-on-one meetings with my in-house staff yesterday and was reminded of what incredible, capable, and gifted people they all are.
  • Suppers that appear on the table without my effort. Marcel is home and he’s been cooking and hey – what’s not to like about that?!
  • My little studio/sanctuary in the basement. I’ve been finding little snippets of time to hide in it this week and OH how refreshing that is!
  • Friendship. It’s true, when things get rough, true friends show up, and WOW can I just say – I have some incredible friends! Both in-person and online!
  • One specific friend who offered to throw me a birthday/bra-burning party in a couple of weeks. How sweet is that?! (Yes, it’s my birthday on May 20! I’m giving you lots of advance warning in case you want to lavish me with gifts. Teehee.)
  • Books. I’ve read some great ones lately and they lend me so much comfort, sanctuary, wisdom, and strength.
  • Yoga. I’ve managed to drag myself out of bed and do yoga almost every morning this week!
  • My daughters. They have been demonstrating such incredible strength and resilience lately and I am so proud of them. Plus they’re funny to boot.
  • My husband. After all that he’s been through, he’s starting to worry about me and he sends me out of the house for bookstore dates with myself or to my studio for dates with my paintbrush. And OH MY GOSH he gives good hugs.
  • Bengal spice tea. Mmmm.
  • Some funky red shoes I bought at Value Village for $7!

  • Oh… and one more late-breaking addition to my list. As I was going through my expense account for my Chicago trip, I discovered that I’d been in Walgreens, getting served by JESUS and I didn’t even know it!

Well, that was definitely a good exercise, because I’m feeling happier already! You? What’s on your gratitude list?

13 Comments leave one →
  1. Jane Kirsch permalink
    May 7, 2010 9:20 am

    LOL!!! It’s the small things in life that sometimes matter most! I have this wonderful picture of you skipping around in those shoes! So great to hear the humor and smile in your words…. We’re all with you, Heather.

  2. May 7, 2010 10:02 am

    I’m glad you didn’t have to shred the Happy Book and bury it in your yard! Actually, when it does arrive it’s so beckoning and colorful that it’s hard not to fall in love and want to keep it forever.

    Thanks for sharing and have a great weekend. Let us know how the birthday celebration goes!

  3. May 7, 2010 10:57 am

    One of my favorite memories is sitting on the bench watching my son play soccer. I cannot tell you how exciting it was to see my grandson play a few weeks ago. I just hope he loves it as much as his dad did. Your receipt from Jesus definitely made me smile today.

    Have a wonderful week.

  4. bbb permalink
    May 7, 2010 11:37 am

    Apparently Jesus is getting around these days:

  5. ccap permalink
    May 7, 2010 11:43 am

    I’m thinking I need to give this a go too as mostly I’m seeing sadness around me and it’s taking its toll.

  6. May 7, 2010 12:55 pm

    Oh, Heather, I’m so glad there are some good things too. I mean, Jesus serving you – how cool is that? And I must say that in think sister-in-love is one of the best words ever!

    big hugs,

  7. May 7, 2010 1:28 pm

    Great, great blog post, Heather. I am so glad that things are going better for you. You are still in my prayers, but hey, Jesus is serving you, and you can’t get any better than that! Love, O

  8. May 7, 2010 5:21 pm

    I’m so glad that you were able to “find your happy” again – what a great list but now I have to go to Walgreens and see if I can find Jesus!

  9. May 7, 2010 9:58 pm

    Bless you for posting this. I, alas, DID receive The Happy Book last week, and eventually just mailed it on without much from me. I know happiness will get here some day…in, oh, about four months from now when I can allow myself to have some medical assistance for that.
    Fortunately, friends and chocolate help brighten the days 🙂

  10. May 8, 2010 4:46 am

    Really Heather: you shouldn’t be booting your daughters around, no matter how funny they are.

  11. May 8, 2010 12:27 pm

    i love your list. gratitude is such a wonderful thing.
    and the receipt? OMG. OMG> LOL. But seriously, that s some messed up stuff!!!
    thank you for sharing that too!

    happy day 🙂

  12. May 8, 2010 6:05 pm

    What a difference a couple of days/weeks make. Love those red sneakers. I’m glad to hear that Jesus never really seems to leave your side – he does turn up in the most unlikely places. Lately I have been grateful for coming to a certain point of acceptance about my life. I’m hoping it’s not resignation in disguise. I’m also grateful for the little messages that come my way that make me stop and look around.

  13. May 16, 2010 11:11 pm

    He’s reminding you — when you least expect it.
    ps. cool shoes.

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