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Doin’ the ol’ flip-flop

March 25, 2010
Flip… I believe I am a good writer and that I have a lot to offer. This blog is an interesting place for people to hang out.
Flop… I am convinced I’m wasting my time and should just step aside and let the REAL writers do their thing. This blog is a boring waste of time.
 
Flip… I can’t believe how lucky I am to have so many good friends and connections with amazing, creative people all over the world.
Flop… I must be a horribly uninteresting person because everybody seems to be having fun with each other and forgetting to invite me.
 
Flip… I am a creative person and I have so many worthwhile ideas and the capacity to inspire people in their creativity.
Flop… There are way more creative people in the world than me and I shouldn’t waste my time trying to fit in.
 
Flip… I’m doing a good job at being a mother and I’m giving my kids a healthy space to grow into interesting, unique, and independent individuals.
Flop… I am such a lousy mother – my kids have to dig through laundry baskets for clean socks AND I feed them way too much trashy food. Every OTHER mother has a spotless home and wholesome goodies waiting for their kids when they come home from school.
 
Flip… I have a great idea for a book and lots of people will love it when they read it. It’s meant to be shared because people will be inspired by it.
Flop… Who am I trying to kid? This idea is stupid and that must mean that I am stupid because I fooled myself into thinking it was a good idea.
 
Flip… I’m intelligent and well-learned and I can carry on interesting conversations with almost anyone.
Flop… I’m not nearly as smart as most of the people I know and I really suck at starting conversations. No wonder people are ignoring me.
 
Flip… I have a great capacity for connecting with people in different cultures in other parts of the world.
Flop… I really screw up a lot of relationships and people find me rather unapproachable. They’re just pretending to like me because they’re so gracious.
 
Flip… I am a good leader. My authenticity, honesty, vision, creativity, and drive make me an easy person for a team to follow.
Flop… I’m screwing up big time and the fact that there is resistance from some members of my team must mean that I’m a failure at leading them.
 
Flip… I am good at finding balance in my life. I don’t stress out too much about a messy house when it’s more important to rest, and I find ways of fitting “me time” in between the time I give to others.
Flop… I am lazy and selfish and all of my relationships are suffering because of it. OTHER people have full time jobs and kids and yet their houses are still spotless and they don’t waste so much time reading and playing.
 
Flip… I am okay with my body, even though it’s not as slender as I’d like it to be. I live a fairly healthy lifestyle and get regular exercise.
Flop… I’m fat and lazy and should be ashamed of how little exercise I get. This ugly body should be hidden under baggy clothes.
 
Ever have one of those days?
 
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32 Comments leave one →
  1. March 25, 2010 2:28 pm

    Oh, Heather, sometimes every minute of every day feels like that.

    But then I notice that that is just a story that I tell myself for dramatic purposes. 😉

    The Diva, I teasingly call mine. It seems to deflate her power. And I do what you did here — I just make a giant list for Marcy to listen to. (poor marcy…)

    You now which of all of these pairs is right so I won’t go into that.

    When it’s extra bad, I bring out the big guns — pizza and a great, funny movie.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:36 am

      Ah yes, the Diva – I think I need to come up with a name for mine too! Thanks for understanding, as always, Christine. 🙂

  2. March 25, 2010 2:36 pm

    All that in one day? You need to get out more!

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:37 am

      Well, perhaps “one day” is a bit of a stretch, but they all show up at some point or another. 🙂

  3. Bailey permalink
    March 25, 2010 2:59 pm

    My days aren’t very flippy, mostly floppy 😦

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:37 am

      Time to work on the “flippy”, eh Bailey? 😉

  4. March 25, 2010 4:14 pm

    Oh yes, I do have days like that. Today was not stellar, in fact I just discovered I have dog poop stuck in the treads of one of my shoes. Ups and downs, they say that’s what it’s all about. The downs can be so devastating and debilitating, can’t they? I soar and crash too. And it’s painful and the thoughts in my head create loneliness. As long as you are still flippin’, you’re still groovin’.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:39 am

      It’s funny how something like “dog poop in the shoe” can translate into “I must be a failure because I’m walking around with dog poop in my shoe” on those days when we’re feeling vulnerable, isn’t it?

      It’s so good to know that so many people know the same reality as I do! Let’s all work on our “flips” together, shall we? 🙂

  5. March 25, 2010 4:46 pm

    Two weeks of flips, followed by two weeks of flops. That’s my monthly cycle. I’m sure it’s hormonal, but at 51 I was hoping to be getting over all that. It should be interesting to final get to the ‘other side’ of all that and just see whether or not I’m a flipper or a flopper.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:40 am

      Yeah, I was sure that by 43 I’d be a whole lot more stable on the “flip” side. But here you are telling me I’ll still be dealing with it at 51. Sigh. But at least we’re not alone. 🙂

  6. March 25, 2010 6:34 pm

    Almost every.single.day. It’s exhausting, no?!

    I say: FLIP, baby, FLIP!! We all NEED your delicious energy.

    (Love this flip flop concept, by the way…)

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:41 am

      That’s going to become my new motto, Lisa… “FLIP, baby, FLIP!!” Thanks! 🙂

  7. March 25, 2010 7:23 pm

    Start writing the book. Now. You’re a good writer.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:41 am

      I AM writing the book Jane… at least on those days when I’m more “flip” than “flop”. 🙂 Thanks for the affirmation!

  8. March 25, 2010 7:56 pm

    Absolutely, I have those days. I have those all in one hour. 😉

    Here’s hoping you have more flips!

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:42 am

      Thanks Amanda! I can hardly express how good it feels to have so many people saying “me too!” It’s good not to be alone in our attempst to “flip” rather than “flop”.

  9. March 26, 2010 3:55 am

    Ever had one of those days!?! Dude, that is my life. Right there.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:56 am

      Kim – so glad to know I’m not alone! Thanks! Here’s to flippin’ more than floppin’!

  10. March 26, 2010 7:42 am

    Like you, I’ve been convalescing (though from a sinus infection). I’ve had too much time to think, and have I worked myself into some flip-flop frenzies! I like this idea of writing them down in flip-flop fashion, as opposed to just concentrating on the flops. It’s an excellent reframing exercise.

    I’ve tried to stop caring about what other people’s homes look like in comparison to mine. It’s an ongoing battle. If I ever figure it out you’ll be the first to know. (Actually, given the number of commenters, perhaps I’ll write a book about it, but I’ll dedicate it to you and give you the first copy!) 😀

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:43 am

      Welcome to the flip-floppers tribe, Linnea. I think this week I was feeling especially tender about the messy house thing, because my 14 year old daughter was expressing some shame about “always having a messier house than her friends”. Sigh.

  11. Dovelily permalink
    March 26, 2010 9:05 am

    Boy, have I ever had days like that. Most days lately are totally floppy for me, but I’m working hard to find the silver lining.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:44 am

      Thanks Dovelily. Welcome to the inner circle! Let’s work on our “flipping” together!

  12. Kirsten permalink
    March 26, 2010 10:04 am

    Hi Heather, I’m your flip flop sister!! I do it all the time & to be honest, there’s a lot more flop than flip. But I’m working on it & you can too. For one thing, GET WRITING THAT BOOK!!! I want to read it & I guarantee I’m not the only one. Have a happy weekend.

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:45 am

      Hey flip-flop sister! YES I am writing the book – partly because I know authenticity (admitting to the flops as well as the flips) is what people crave and at least I can offer that. 🙂

  13. March 26, 2010 10:04 am

    Days? I have minutes that contain all those contradictions and more! It’s kinda fun to watch the thought parade – like clouds whipping across the prairie sky.

    The trick is to not let them hang around so that they gather into a big thundercloud.

    Thanks for the “I’m not the only one” post Heather. xox

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 11:46 am

      Welcome to the tribe, Lianne! Isn’t it great to find out other people are as vulnerable and flawed as we are? I think the fact that we can “watch the thought parade” and at least be aware that it’s happening is a step in the right direction.

  14. March 26, 2010 11:59 am

    FLIP: I should post a reply to this blog
    FLOP: Why would anyone be interested in what I have to say?
    Ha – glad the flip won; I think you’re great, Heather! 🙂

    • heatherplett permalink*
      March 26, 2010 12:26 pm

      I’m SO glad you chose to flip instead of flop! Welcome to the tribe!

  15. Leonie wise permalink
    March 26, 2010 2:14 pm

    Oh yes. There is SO much of my own truth in these words. Thanks for directing me here by commenting on my blog. I am so glad you did!

    I think it requires a LOT of courage to speak the truth

  16. Kelly permalink
    March 26, 2010 6:40 pm

    It surprises me that some who appears so confident and competent would have these doubts and that so many others do, too. If you think it’s bad enough and really want to try to do something about it, you might want to look for a book on cognitive behavioural therapy which helps you reframe your thoughts. I’ve heard about a technique called ABC that makes you look at where your negative thought originated and if it’s really true.

    I’m glad you’re recovering so well.

    • Kelly permalink
      March 26, 2010 6:42 pm

      SOMEONE – it surprises me that SOMEONE who appears so confident…

      I hate when I see a typo AFTER I hit enter… (oh oh, showing my own doubts)

      • heatherplett permalink*
        March 27, 2010 7:14 am

        Kelly,
        I don’t know if I’ve met anyone who’s immune to at least some degree of self-doubt now and then. Some of us just hide it better than others. 🙂

        I’ve heard about cognitive behaviour therapy but have never checked into it. Perhaps I will. Thanks.

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